Yesterday I took my cat, Lola, to the vet because she had what appeared to be a bladder infection. She also had had a slight eye infection (but that had basically cleared up on its own a few days before the appointment.)
The vet said it probably wasn’t a bladder infection. Rather, in times of stress (check, we just moved) some cats develop a case of cystitis that mimics a lot of the symptoms of a UTI (same as in people. Needing to pee a lot and not producing much.)
“Stiiiillll,” said the Vet “you might want to collect a urine sample from her once you get home so we can test it. Just to be sure.”
Here’s how you do that, fyi:
1. Purchase new, clean litter box or carefully wash, rinse and dry old one (be sure to rinse away all the soap residue, because it can affect the p.h.)
2. Fill box with un-popped popcorn kernels (non-absorbent, but mimics litter)
3. Stick popcorn box and irate cat in bathroom. Close door.
4. Listen to cat yowl in bathroom for approximately an hour.
5. When you finally hear sound of cat scratching around in kernels (assuming she doesn’t use the bath mat out of pure, acid spite) release cat from bathroom. Sift popcorn kernels out of puddle of steaming hot cat piss. Tip piss into collection jar. Store in fridge for morning trip back to vet’s for $40 urinalysis.
6. DISCARD POPCORN KERNELS. Do not attempt to pop and serve.
I am pretty sure I don’t want to do that. And I’m not going to, either–unless it doesn’t clear up in a few days (cystitis goes away by itself.)
Also, when I mentioned the presumptive eye infection, the vet said it was probably herpes. Eye herpes. Pretty common in cats, turns out. I didn’t hear very much that she said to me after that.
